Codependency

Do you struggle with interpersonal boundaries either finding yourself with no boundaries getting hurt often or putting up walls and feeling the pain of isolation? Do you find that you hold resentment, have distorted/nonexistent spirituality, avoid reality (e.g. through addictions), or have a hard time with sustaining intimacy with others? I provide a safe, nurturing environment where we can gently explore these areas to create new experiences with oneself and one’s past.

Codependency means more than relying on others. If you struggle with people pleasing tendencies, neglect your needs to put others above you, have difficulty boundary setting and saying no, lack assertiveness skills, are unsure of what your needs and values are, get your worth from helping others, rescue and fix others, low self esteem, and take on responsibility for other peoples emotions you may have codependent patterns. We will work on your identity outside of others and taking care of you!

I help girls and women navigate their inner knowing within themselves. Through this awareness we look at areas and relationships within their lives where they are holding back their thoughts, beliefs, feelings and ideas from others to protect themselves and their relationships from rupture or conflict. We will work together to find ways that feel good and safe to express what is true and heal harmful codependent patterns.

Those suffering from codependency may be feeling like they have to give up themselves in order to make the relationship work. Often times you may put the other person's needs ahead of your own because if you don't the other person may realize they don't love you and leave you. You may have thoughts of "If I am not helpful, useful, or what my partner needs me to be then they are going to leave me" These are all scary thoughts! We can unpack them in a safe space together.

Perhaps you seek a “coming home” to yourself in a way that feels safe & meaningful. Perhaps you long to understand yourself in relationships or in the world around you where you consider your needs as much as those around you. Being a people pleaser can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout. I am honored to walk alongside you as we explore and process all that you hold within you. You are allowed to let go, breathe and prioritize your wellbeing.

Jordan helps clients move from painful and draining codependence to a nourishing balance of inter- and independence. Knowledgeable in both 12-step and other recovery networks, Jordan works with her clients to find appropriate support and explore the root cause of codependency.

When you give so much of yourself to others, it can feel like you lose parts of yourself in the process You might find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your true inner feelings. Together, you can learn to recognize and honor your inner voice, trust your intuition, and integrate the different parts of yourself enabling you to live life more fully and authentic to who you are.

Having boundaries, saying now, and advocating for ourselves is difficult. This is especially true for highly sensitive individuals, women, and particularly sensitive women in male-dominated fields. I love supporting my clients in accessing their voice, their strength, and finding connection through differentiation.

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

Boundaries are a big part of codependency and we don't really ever learn what they are or how to set and hold them. We often times will feel guilty when those around us are struggling with a difficult emotions. Saying 'yes' when you really mean 'no' is super common. Working together you will learn your own codependent patterns so you can begin to shift them and feel better about yourself with yourself and also in relationships with others.

Codependency usually involves neglecting ourselves and our needs in order to prioritize those of others. This provides us with a way to avoid or escape our own thoughts, feelings, and problems while hyper-focusing on those of others. I help my clients work through codependency by assisting them in identifying codependent traits, behaviors, and ways of thinking while also helping clients develop a deeper understanding of how this affects their everyday lives.

Conflict most frequently surfaces when one partner begins to define their identity outside of the relationship which is a necessary and healthy transition. However, this can feel threatening when codependency is a prominent element in the relationship. I work with couples to develop strategies to increase their sense of safety within the relationship and empower them to further develop their autonomy and sense of self within the relationship.

Codependency can be a challenging thing to navigate on your own, but it is very possible to gain a more comprehensive and complete understanding of why you developed this coping mechanism in the first place. From there, we can support you to re-learn how to have your own autonomy and separate sense of self. If applicable to you, we'll also support you in learning how to discern and hold your own boundaries and connect with others in ways that are empowering for you.

If you have trouble with needing to externally focus on other and have a hard time focusing on and caring for yourself, I can help. I have worked with many individuals to help them to reconnect with their wants, needs and learn to keep the focus on themselves.

The way that I engage with people around codependency, which is a confusing term, is that it leads us to want to control other people's emotions so that in turn, we feel better (i.e. I don't want him/her/them to be mad, so I won't say anything). Putting others' emotions and needs ahead of our own is something that is also sanctioned by society. Working on codependency doesn't mean that we start offending others either. It's a gentle journey into boundary setting and communication.

When your relationship with someone you love demands more from you than you understand how to give, it can be difficult to maintain boundaries that allow you to feel like your own needs can be met in the relationship. It can often feel like you are not aware anymore of what your own needs are. When loved ones struggle with addiction or other mental health problems, codependency is the result of having a relationship with them and this can be managed so you can be well, even if they are not.